My first entry

Aug 14, 2008, 11:36 pm

Friday, August 15, 2008

Hmm.. I was happily dreaming bout something cool(but can’t recall what), when i receive a call at around 1103am from my OC to come back to Division before 12noon. WTF right? So i showered and everything then rushed down to division in full battle order to meet my OC. The worst part is that, he actually called me back down just to clean up the freaking locker room for him! Hell yeah..

Anywho, I didn’t take long to clean it up. I whipped it up for about half an hour and left immediately.. So here I am making my first entry in here..

Ok thats that.. Just can’t wait to co to Play with my friends later.. haha..

a’an

you stole him away from him. i will never forget that. see forgiveness is nothing, as i stole him away from me. regret all left of the situation we’re in. your face, the stream of features that flows down your skin. love is felt. love. irreplaceable. experience we went through. too short to be any form of gauge. of what it’ll be like. as the the circle of fate almost finishes its revolution.

you’re still the one.

monstrous

burger king brought back ALL-DAY TURKEY HAM & CHEESE CROISSANT.

life’s good again.

so last night me sister bugged me dad to be at home today coz someone’s sending over her clothes or something. i answered the door just now and two delivery men were standing there with an lcd tv and a random digicam.

see there’s a special tot in my life who keeps me going. every week or so when i see him, it’s like soul recharge. cute as a button. innocent and curious as hell, but he’s growing up and i believe curiosity only augments the learning process. anyway, there’s that downside of growing up i.e. the tendency to break several household items along the way. cutting short: the family believes he broke my parent’s room tv while fiddling with the machine (i dunno why he’s even allowed to do that really), leaving them with a small one since. i dunno if today’s delivery was a replacement or anything, but i’m happy for my parents. and please, i’m not saying this just coz they got a tv. honestly they couldn’t care less.

i’m just cherishing this moment of feeling really. an everlastingness characteristic of again, the mushy: love. the sister’s all grown up now and i’m figuring she’s stable in many ways. this is reflective for me because i know i’m not there yet. like when will i be able to truly give the parents the life they deserve. not a reward, perhaps a symbol of how their love is cherished so dear. to see them happy that their efforts paid off in more ways than one. more so, because i’m still at a point where at times, i don’t feel any form of love (see things can get overwhelming and in effect, blinding).

(mom knows a lot about me, a lot she would rather i not be. and i realized that she doesn’t treat me any different. i’m blessed that way. dad expects better out of me because he knows i can)

the nephew’s coming later. and he’s gonna break a lot of other things – mine inclusive. maybe not today, but i just know that i’m not gonna be a big doodoo about it because i’m biased like that. coz you know what, he’s been my source of comfort in what’s been a tumultuous year. and he’ll always be the first, very special nephew who’s birth and life has been of much significance to this old soul.

it’s times like this. when i want to fly away. into obsoleteness. i’m missing so many people. fuck this shit.

they’re calling me a psycho.

oh this struggle to keep my sanity becomes more difficult as time goes by.

dealing with how one turns away after another. it hurts to be alone with wretched feelings. so.. bad.

good God. trying life you’ve made for me. broken even when ready to fight.

i wish i was making this up.

“ Your heart has called me closer to you
I will be all that you need
Just trust in what we’re feeling
Never leave ’cause baby, I believe

Don’t you ever go away, it’ll always be this way

We stand side by side
Till the storms of life pass us by
Light my life, warm my heart
Say tonight will be just the start ”

]]> http://ridhymic.wordpress.com/2009/02/08/768/feed/ 0 ridzymic http://ridhymic.wordpress.com/2009/02/06/rats/ http://ridhymic.wordpress.com/2009/02/06/rats/#comments Fri, 06 Feb 2009 09:00:09 +0000 ridzymic http://ridhymic.wordpress.com/?p=766 ]]>

to shield your ears
from silence right before death

to disregard how unneeded you feel
and stick through the thick till the very end

as the captain who went down with his vessel
an integrity even logic cannot explain