this was the first time the problems affected me to tears in a blatantly direct way. i am helpless in the situations brought upon us. unnecessary baggage carried from a place he calls home. i ventured between being angry at the source of the problems who are consequently the source of my suffering, and being sad at my fate itself. but anger can bring me nowhere and the latter is a lot of what i am. extremely foul luck, or some sick fate of having nothing to hold on to, but just surrendering to the utter gloom of everything.
in the sheets i hide. in a room i wish was darker.
and the hopelessness i feel will bind me to these four walls indefinitely.
