my asian persuasion

note to self:

go to switzerland and this time do more walking around the little towns. like Wengen.

get a love interest slash travel buddy.

save up.

crazy, crazy for feeling

you could get killed from swallowing a walnut. so why bother with something that could end just like that.

i’ve also realised that the reason why i didn’t actively find a job is because i’m scared. now that the job’s gonna start in two days, the fear is imminent.

maybe i’ve been stuck with mundane lonely jobs all the time, where after each day there’s nowhere to go and nobody to turn to if that day was particularly or unsurprisingly rotten. i hope, i wish this time it’s different.

my heart has both turned away and looked forward, denied more than it’s waiting for, it’s beaten fast and it’s stopped short. now it’s more tired than ever. no longer numb but longs to be so.

and there he is.

heat wave

i hate singapore. it’s too warm. even when it rains. synthetic crap.

and it’s like the cacing panas restless kind of heat. shit.