mile-high enchantment

When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.
Leonardo da Vinci

                 

                      

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dear god

               

just go easy this time

this week
this month
and for as long as is possible for a disparaged

if there’s a yearning that won’t be fulfilled, stop all the thoughts and make-believe
uninspired sanity is chosen over a life controlled by an unfounded ailment

 

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bittersweet feelings

 

loco.motion.

sometimes… i’ve this urge to raise the white cloth (handwoven silk, no less) and say hey i’m sick, and i really need a break… so workloads be gone, at least till i get better.

but i’m not sick. not in the conventional way. so there’s no realistic excuse. coz there’s no medical way-out for someone who simply feels shitty inside, sometimes for no apparent reason.

point is. the work stays. the feeling lingers. so the happy front shall stand erect (insert smirk here) for as long as it can. even when slowly, everything and everyone starts to stray away – fact or feeling, i’m none the wiser. 

i mean even sick people work.

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crunch time

it’s total whack ok. 245am now and i reached home ’bout 20 mins ago. Oops! is taking too much of my time. too much for just a member of the publicity team.

now there’s MIA to do. food’s waiting and stomach’s rumbling but whatever. the hours ahead will be one heck of a ride with the launch, a true logistical nightmare. than the party rehearsal, nightmare of another kind. 

it’s all gonna be good. i suck it up when i can. with schedules not meeting and people backing out and giving the tude and having no balls and going diva about rehearsals, it’s still gonna happen. i’m not about to bitch about the models. not about the dancers. not about the skaters, not about whoever that don’t seem to realise that a full run through requires full attendance. like they’re even any good in the first place.

PR face aside

control freaks are those who can’t do, but wanna do.

the only reason people become control freaks is because they were never given much authority before. and there’s a reason for that - because they make lousy leaders. so in fact, control freaks are those who are incompetent, yet refuse to relinquish or at least delegate control to others. and then even have the cheek to say that I am inadept.

the world is made up of an array of people. it’s your own choice if you wanna be in the hated bunch.

if i may be so forward…

what happens when heads get bigger than normal. so i’ve got a personal issue regarding spunk, now known as OOPS!

it’s simple. and i shall be as blunt as possible: i’m not given enough credit. yet i think somehow, some people think i’m just there for the good stuff.

well it happens a lot, even since before i entered poly. but i’ve never been confident enough a person to actually voice it out. but lately, my attitude has been along the lines of Fuck it so here you go. 

now acknowledging someone who is – and i’m guessing here – more deserving than me is acceptable, but to do it in a way that demeans my contribution, be it intentional or not, is a major insult. amongst many things, it’s because i was so obviously not given a thought about when that little reshuffling was done. i’m quite close to asking for my name to be taken off that list altogether because reflecting on everything, i really cannot bear with that belittlement.

you must undestand that i’m usually not one for such bureaucratic rubbish, but when i’m put into the same category as those who hadn’t devoted so much time and effort, i will speak. but this blog is as far as i’ll go because that magazine is fucked enough without me being a petty bitch.

so i’ll just carry on doing what i’ve signed up to do because, hey at least the thought of quitting this gig never crossed my mind. now that fact, i dare say only i can proclaim.

but i’ll admit, the things that i do there now seems like it can’t go beyond half-hearted. so all i can say now is that we’ll wait and see.

                   

then again, the problem here could be more because of my own personal issues. that, i’ll try to deal with alone. because, if i may get a little corny, no one else seems to care. so now, for the record i can at least say i didn’t keep it all to myself, should anything happen.

and if you’re here only to read and then not comment and instead, judge me at the next instance, get the fuck away from my blog.