weekend trinkets and whatnots

so i’m finally done with the article. it’s pending approval, only worth mentioning coz it’s a little controversial i suppose. but tune in anyway to the first issue of SPUNK magazine coming out in the near future. well… not quite so near - there’s still the publicity part.

weekends go by too quickly. friday’s are cut by half due to school. saturdays are boring at times, but that’s the day to really chill. i actually slept quite well into sunday… then mom woke me up to go out for breakfast with sis and sis. then came some unexpected, impromptu shopping. i didn’t get a lot of things, especially when you factor in certain things. yeah but i’s happy to carry stuff…

            

 

see… happy face

                   

when i take a walk

i’m facing a modern-day dilemma.

i ain’t gonna tell you… i ain’t gonna tell you… i ain’t gonna tell you…

let’s just say it’s got to do with brownies… ahh brownies

got a craving for brownie with ice-cream so i went in search of exactly that. minus the gelato.

had to circle the basement of the mall twice before i finally got something. to be fair, it wasn’t that big an area. what really upset me was that i’s so close to getting the brownie at delifrance coz last time i checked, it was chocolate orgasm. you know, when you get so indulgent that you’re practically making love to the thing. yeah so i ain’t getting laid tonight… coz i saw an ex-manager whom some know as the fucking baguette. crazy shit! he had to come out just when i’s gonna order. i made a real slick u-turn with ma boots and like a handsome robot, i promptly walked outta there. had to settle for a brownie lookalike and a chocolate eclair eventually. but i ate it with tin roof brownie ice cream. fine i’m just looking for a consolation.

oh and there was this crazy long queue outside that mall. thought some celebrity was gonna be there, or pretty much anything else that could easily cause such kiasu shenanigans. i realised Metro was closed. then i remembered there’s this sale going on for invited members this evening. i know coz i read my mom’s mail about this. i did what?! yeah i did. whatever. ok so i don’t think half the people in the queue even had invites. then i asked my mom if she was going. said no coz she already went earlier, but there weren’t any queues then. well duh! maybe coz the sale only starts at 7pm! man… sometimes i seriously don’t know.

i give a damn when everyone else don’t. and i don’t even know why i always give a rat’s ass in the first place. the littlest things frustrate me. freak it… everything frustrates me.

   

but on a brighter side… pictures. big freaking whoop.

chic chicks yummy yum noodles

       

what’s the point of being high outside only to come back as low as you can be.

happens everytime.

i blame food.

              

shit shit shit.

         

uilavm saelpe.

irtnatc irtnatc irtnatc.

      

i shall be modest tomorrow. the sun will come out tomorrow. just one day away.

hwo hte ufg ma i niddikg.

                 

with a slash of happeee…

                 

what is intercourse? and then what’s intercourse with a hot HOT HOT thang?  

maybe it’s ok to be lonely. yeah. who said it wasn’t. stupid people with company.

people around me should prevent me from spending further. be a good friend.

people around me should prevent me from spending on food. be a lifesaver.

it’s sad interesting to discover that you belong to several recovery groups at the same time.

   

it’s official

the person i loved is in love again, just not with me

the person i really want to love, is in love, just not with me

the person i could’ve loved is in love with two people, just not with me

    

so FORGIVE ME if i love myself a little too much

and forgive me if i’m needy sometimes

         

i’m just stucked in a place nobody wants to be in. understand that.

    

     

     

go away. 

                  

updates

1) school sucks. coz live sucks in general. what else is new. in contrary to what i thought, distractions are no good when your mind is locked up in a box. it’ll only think of how to get out and nothing else. believe me this is a good analogy.

2) language & communication dept. woman called me for the second time to ask whether i wanna join the year 3 French class. honestly i really don’t know if i should. i can’t even concentrate in the core classes nowadays. i don’t even know whether to shampoo my hair in the morning. so i didn’t answer the call. if i did, the conversation would probably have gone as so: listen lady, I DON’T KNOW if i wanna join the class ok. and i couldn’t be more detached to literally everything right now. don’t nobody tell me to think anymore coz believe you me, that’s one thing i’ve done in that stupid 9 weeks and that’s even more tiring than any job any one of you can ever do in that period. oh and try making the class at 3pm so i don’t have to spend more time WAITING than having to spend in class itself.

3) i have no idea what to do for SPUNK. except sit opened-mouth as incessant images of actual spunk plays in my mind. then i ask myself, why in hell did i sign up for this shit which isn’t bananas, and don’t even pay.

4) everyone around me is getting bleak. people seem gloomy. maybe it’s just me. they’ve become boring. maybe it’s just me. i’ve also noticed many people are getting emo. well it’s dangerous so stop before it becomes something else. to those who aren’t sad: congratulations. to those who are really not that sad but think emo is cool: keep it real. to those who want to understand me first-hand: don’t. you’ll die.

5) i haven’t had decent interaction with lil’ sis since i don’t even bother to remember when. i haven’t had decent interaction with sis since i don’t even bother to remember when.

6) thought i’s gonna die yesterday. but who doesn’t think like that. false alarm hope vomit. and then life went on too normally today. but it went on. yay?

7) i don’t even enjoy laughing that much. coz sometimes it’s not real. oh it helps not talking to me. coz i have this proneness to respond coz i think it’s polite. but i don’t wanna. so don’t make me, at times aight. i’ve also heard that some think this blog is too angry and depressing for them. i’d advise you to take a walk in my shoes, for more reasons than one. winks.

    

hardcore person: be optimistic…

me: are you optimistic?

hardcore person: no…

  

hardcore person: don’t you have faith?

me: i had it. went away.

  

  

nothing

      

i like to eat

     

but

      

  

 

         

i just know it

     

i got to thinking…

sometimes the answer is really either a Yes or a No. this is where the wise is distinguished from those who try to hard.

in other terms… don’t try to be a smarty pants and blah your way to being bleah.

who in the world is…

  

what to do on a boring, bloated thursday night?

1. listen to ghost stories on the radio. the most scary kind; malay ghost stories.

2. log on to sas. and then discover one Victor Ng is gonna teach us how to write for the media. who is this? what’s his deal? what’s he all about? is he butt ugly or does he have a cute butt? i honestly hope for the former, only to salvage my ears from having to listen to constant cherishing of the ass from all the closeted horny bitches.

3. find contentment. i’m easily contented with the fact that i was very likely the first to blog about this victor ng. big whoop.

 

in other news…

1. the new mp3’s working fine. just needed to re-route the usb cable connecting to the PC. i like it that i sounded technical. like i know stuff. anyway this also meant that i snapped at the tech service lady person for nothing. and she was still being nice so i don’t feel too good about myself now. whatever… she probably asked for it when she told me to wait 2 to 3 weeks to get it fixed. nobody makes me wait 2 to 3 weeks. no one should try.

2. timetable’s a bitch. i forgot to bitch about it last time but it’s never to late to bitch ’bout anything so here i am… bitching. SO i’ve got lotsa hours void in the morning, and then conveniently gotta go to school when the sun is broiling all of singapore. great. and NO i will not be a melting witch. perhaps, like sugar caramelizing on a crème brûlée. anyway, going home is not gonna be any better coz it’s in the midst of rush hour – when everyone who takes the public transport gets their daily dosage of: psycho. twice daily actually, though this time round i can escape the morning dose. COULD HAVE gone home at 4 on thurs and fri but no0o0o… McSpecdippy just gotta get squeezed into that slot. my already decrepit social life vanishes further. and what am i gonna do with wednesday… travel for 1 hour, sit in a lecture hall for 1 hour, then travel back home for another hour. SO fruitful. SO gonna go out.

3. numbness. i need everything to make me numb, inside and out. everything from botox to stuff for consumption, the sky’s the limit! i heard of a red glossy semi-hard ball and i fell in love immediately. herein, the quest begins for that magical ball which can provide me with jaded happiness.

today was give a piece of my mind day

started with one asswipe. ended with two. thought i’d just kill two birds with one kidney stone.

   

asswipe #1

you’re too confusing. if i wanted to get confused i’d read a book. first first.. want to fall in love, then got me in love, then don’t want already, then never contact, then contact again, then ask me for things, then hang up again, then ask me go out, then ask me for things again, then want to go home, then say sorry, last last.. i say good riddens lor what you expect, then still say wanted to ’patch things up’, then say i never change. i never change then never change lor. problem arh? like you got change liddat, become worst lagi got lah. i also don’t know where liang court is lor, don’t anyhow arh. say sorry ten times then still say me like i so evil. eeyer like that might as well go patch cabbage patch kids lah. i uber confused until don’t care liao leh. wahlan the things you say i buay tahan already. DON’T CARE LAH. nabeh. why i talk like that.

all you ever did was leave time and time again.

  

asswipe #2

boss arh? BACKSIDE arh… boss. my ah lian friend said “backside.” that ang moh lian Shania Twain said “that don’t impress me much.” i say “that don’t impress me one poopy bit.” contented with life isit… go toilet lah. got shares isit? go die and share with ghost lor. they calling you already. never been rejected arh?… heaven will reject you.

but just one thing… i’m not easy. i only trusted you.

i am ashamed. certain people make me ashamed of being human. i’ve decided. i wanna be… a vest. they keep you warm and never underdressed. 

  

i fell into a hole but i find peace in the fact that there are others below me, deeper down that hole.

  

i still don’t give a damn ’bout nobody else but me

today we went to get a (mini) home theatre set (minus tv) to watch my movies. yippee yie! i guess it’s movies galore from now on. got at least 8 new movies to watch from today and yesterday. AND now i can watch mariah concerts… in private… with totally down sound. i declare my room, officially pimped. oh and i got a new playa’ for the m to da p to da 3 over the weekend.

   

i love my daddy!!!!!!!!!!