ode to muvo

   

Oh baby c’mon tell me what happened

Where’s the fire you and I once had

I feel like crying when I see you so weak

When I know that nothing can save you now 

 

Oh god! The playa’ is broken

We got a situation: one nigga down

I’m not talking ‘bout no promiscuous black man

This song is ‘bout my mp3 player 

 

It’s gone kaput and it’s so useless now

Won’t even live past 20 seconds

When I found out I thought I would die

Because I need my sob music fix 

 

Something I thought was unbreakable

Took it for granted so I tossed you around

But now I’m so restless on the train

Coz I can’t stand the squealing of those blasted school girls 

 

I know you’d so love to meet the repairman

But I just can’t bring myself to see that old man

So please wake up, my lonesome friend

I really don’t wanna see that dirty old man 

 

Your memory’s been low

Your colour fades by the hour

But you were always there by my side

And you sang to me on long lonely roads 

 

So please wake up, my lonesome friend

And give your light to my dark, dark soul

I don’t give a damn about ipod video

Coz I don’t have the moolah for that just yet 

 

So please wake up, my lonesome friend

Oh please wake up, my lonesome friend

Oh please wake up, my lonesome friend

Wake up! 

 

~

where am i going to

because somewhere along the way, you find out that you’re not worthy of love. and all the things start making sense. somehow you’ll accept. and then you start substituting love for something else. and you know that thing is bad. but you don’t care. coz by now you crave satisfaction. well you’ll never be satisfied.

tonight you will give it one more try. you don’t even know where you’re headed because your’re blurred by your own tears. and the emotions you can’t handle. so you just walk forward into that place in hopes that all will be better. because at some point, you find out anything is better than where you are now. say goodbye coz another part of you died today.

that is the art of desperation.

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kapitän!

i figured it’ll be better if i broke the trip details into parts. normal people would start with Day 1. i on the other hand, start with the flight. it’ll all contain pictures. unedited, simple images. partly becoz i haven’t got photoshop. partly coz i’m not publishing a book. but they all speak for themselves, more than a thousand words. and if they don’t, the captions may help.

 

Singapore – Zurich

was bearable coz of 3 things…

1) i like to fly

2) inflight entertainment

3) i like to fly away from singapore

 

now sitting up front wouldn’t hurt. but i was doing time in what can be called, economy class heaven. plus there was a delay of a flight from bangkok. which meant there were over 40 no-shows. which also meant 6 seats for 4 of us.

flight was around 12 hours. no sweat. coz for one, there’s lotsa on-demand audio and video. but i’ve never really been a fan of sitting still for 2 hrs, so caught friends and will & grace instead plus bits of some movies. i caught Ghost can - only scenes with Whoopi Goldberg of coz. fell asleep after that dude took off his pants in History Boys. apparently i missed some nice action scenes. dun matter coz getting turned on inflight ain’t really a good thing, unless i had prospects to join the mile-high club with of coz. i didn’t so there you go.

on another note, the food was awful. the halal meal was expectedly rice and something else. we actually got kueh lapis for dessert. eck. mom didn’t like it so it means that sucked too. breakfast was what i call lontong tak jadi. two words: hospital food. heck make it 4 words: hospital food is better.

over eastern europe an announcement came saying a passenger needed medical assistance. turns out he/she was few rows in front of me. there was a doctor or smth onboard. but i’s really tempted to yell ”i’m medically trained!” coz i wanted to feel important. anyhoos he/she was aight. but i was partly hoping otherwise. coz then we’d have to divert to romania or smth. woots. evil.

so after all that and other little inflight shenanigans, we landed. halfway across the world. it was zero degrees celsius. i fell in love with switzerland immediately.

btw the pictorial below is not suitable for those without the slightest hint of interest in planes or the like. the main travelogue will come later.

what it was. little things that give little orgasms

moving on

hurts when you only think of what’s lost and what could’ve been.

hurts when anyone new just don’t match up to that one person.

hurts when you’re not sure if you can.

what went on

what went on wrong?

it’s 22nd March today. That’s thursday. Where did my wednesday go? Where was tuesday?

Ahh it’s coming back to me now. there was a chalet somewhere. it led to wednesday which was yesterday. went out to have dinner with mom and lil sis. and then ice-cream. ahh yes. then got home and started on the nexus project proposal. no comments on that one either.

where have i been? this’ always the aftermath. but this time i just don’t wanna let go of the feeling. that sudden realisation that i’m back in spore every now and then. partly coz i can’t accept the holiday’s over.

it was way too short. still i fell back to square 1. how did i become such a rotten son. maybe i tried too hard to avoid it that it gets me everytime. why does sorry comes after the harm has been done. why is my color blue.

i can just leave my body as i wish. why am i shivering cold when the aircon remote is 10cm away from my left hand? because i choose to stay this way.

you try and you try and try and try and try and try until you can’t anymore. that is death.

these vagabond shoes

and so i’m back. and i’m really zonked out. didn’t sleep at all during the whole return flight of 12 hours or so. one thing for sure, the trip was a blast. will write about it later i guess. now i really should sleep. but i don’t wanna. pfffft. oh there’s a chalet tmr. i ain’t sure if that’s coz for a yippee or a boohoo? but i definitely feel yeeeeehah! that’s what being zonked is like.

almost

I saw an old friend of ours today

She asked about you, I didn’t quite know what to say

Heard you’ve been making the rounds ’round here

While I’ve been trying to make tears disappear

 

Now I’m almost over you, I’ve almost shook these blues

So when you I come back around after painting the that town

You’ll see I’m almost over you… 

 

You’re such a sly one with your cold, cold heart

Maybe leavin’ came easy, but it tore me apart

Time heals all wounds they say and I should know‘

Cause it seems like forever, but I’m letting you go 

 

I can forgive you and soon I’ll forget all my shattered dreams

Although you left me with nothing to show, full of misery 

 

When you I come back around, after painting the that town

You’ll see I’m almost i’ll be over you…

happy pills take flight

went pre-holiday shopping. and i finally got ‘em shades. old sis got me “Fendi“ ones already but i didn’t really feel those. mom did though. -shrugs- lucky this time it comes with a case - they’ll last longer

i’m a stickler for good customer service. today was a pleasure, paradise when compared to yesterday’s horror house of a retail outlet. still wondering though, am i a letter writer?

like whatever happened to the very fundamentals of upbringing like mutual respect and treating others how you wanna be treated. urgh.

listen

so the sis saw something in the house this evening. me kinda spooked yes. ah but life goes on. as always.

life so far is a bonk factor

#1 have yet to submit SPUNK entrance article. deadline 9th March. like i jus dug up a Creative Communication assignment from year 1. a feature on love – how it stinks. what can i say, i was right then and i’m still right now – ahhh… it stinks like old times. but now there’s a deafening tune in my head argh. goes smth like… “i told you so“, “should have listened to yourself“, “you knew it was far from ideal even at the beginning you stupidhead“. dang!

yes i admit i got stupid for a bit there. for a whole month. but now i’m rising back from the pits and up the multi-faceted, dog eat dog world that is media where one thing is for sure - you can never afford to be stupid. so you can never feel. especially for someone. other than yourself. so it’s just me alone with my ideas from now…

#2 gotta do up the proposal for the NYAA-Nexus project. theme is “things that make us singaporean” and i have to be politically correct this time. muahahaha.

#3 spirit of enterprise interviewssss. gotta find nominees, interview, take photos, write up, release form, blah blah classic reporter job. yes. job! i’m getting paid if i do it right. 100 bucks a pop can!

#4 build-a-bear didn’t call me lah. build-a-bitch.

#5 sdftv film project! maybe it slipped our minds. like we don’t even have a set of proposed stories yet.

stop! all that gotta wait. coz i’ll be gone mannn. leaving on a jet plane, be back in a week or so. 

that’s quite apt also. because i really gotta say goodbye to someone. you read on. youknowwho you are.