so last night me sister bugged me dad to be at home today coz someone’s sending over her clothes or something. i answered the door just now and two delivery men were standing there with an lcd tv and a random digicam.
see there’s a special tot in my life who keeps me going. every week or so when i see him, it’s like soul recharge. cute as a button. innocent and curious as hell, but he’s growing up and i believe curiosity only augments the learning process. anyway, there’s that downside of growing up i.e. the tendency to break several household items along the way. cutting short: the family believes he broke my parent’s room tv while fiddling with the machine (i dunno why he’s even allowed to do that really), leaving them with a small one since. i dunno if today’s delivery was a replacement or anything, but i’m happy for my parents. and please, i’m not saying this just coz they got a tv. honestly they couldn’t care less.
i’m just cherishing this moment of feeling really. an everlastingness characteristic of again, the mushy: love. the sister’s all grown up now and i’m figuring she’s stable in many ways. this is reflective for me because i know i’m not there yet. like when will i be able to truly give the parents the life they deserve. not a reward, perhaps a symbol of how their love is cherished so dear. to see them happy that their efforts paid off in more ways than one. more so, because i’m still at a point where at times, i don’t feel any form of love (see things can get overwhelming and in effect, blinding).
(mom knows a lot about me, a lot she would rather i not be. and i realized that she doesn’t treat me any different. i’m blessed that way. dad expects better out of me because he knows i can)
the nephew’s coming later. and he’s gonna break a lot of other things – mine inclusive. maybe not today, but i just know that i’m not gonna be a big doodoo about it because i’m biased like that. coz you know what, he’s been my source of comfort in what’s been a tumultuous year. and he’ll always be the first, very special nephew who’s birth and life has been of much significance to this old soul.
